If you know that the reason for your desire is happiness, then sometimes you need to stop and enjoy it
It is said that desire is the mother of achievement.
If you ask successful entrepreneurs how they made their wealth, they’d most likely tell you that it all started with a desire to create wealth.
Yes, money is a motivating factor.
For many, it is the fuel to the path of success. Ask athletes, and they’ll tell you that the desire to win keeps them thriving. For artists, the desire to create gives them a sense of satisfaction — whatever the reason, desire is the backbone, and happiness in some form is the goal.
However, what do you do after you’ve achieved the goal, and how long do you keep trying to achieve happiness dependent on external factors?
Sean Burch, the first Virginian to summit Mount Everest says that after returning to the real world from his epic climb, he had a few revelations:
“I always thought if I get to the top of this mountain and get back down alive, then I will be happy. I came down and was riding that high for two to three months, but all of the problems that people go through were still there within me. Climbing a mountain, no matter how stupid or crazy is not going to make a difference in your life.”
Most of our lives are spent in working hard to achieve success. Once we get what we want, we want to grow bigger and keep going.
As they say in economics, “Wants are not satiable.”
If that’s the case, how long shall we feed the inexhaustible engine of wants? Isn’t it better to cap it somewhere, and strengthen one’s inner sense of satisfaction?
I believe this is possible through the practice of self-discipline.
To Ride or Not to Ride
My mom was a horse rider in her younger days. She won many titles in show-jumping. She’d share amusing stories about the nature of horses.
One horse called, “Raja,” knew when a rider was new. He scared his riders by heading toward a particular tree to brush their leg up against it or simply scare them out of their wits. Raja tried the same with my mom, but as an experienced rider, she pulled the reins at the right time and made him turn abruptly.
Raja never tried the trick again with her.
Similarly, the mind is like a horse that will take you for a ride, if you don’t know how to control it. The question is not whether to ride that horse or not, but how.
The horse needs to know who is the master.
If you give in to every desire your mind throws at you, you’re letting the horse take control. However, if you learn to say no, you’re exercising the “muscle,” called discipline.
This is the first step in self-discipline.
Studies find that self-control positively contributes to happiness through avoidance. In essence, this means learning to say no to overindulgent thoughts.
“Rule your mind or it will rule you”— Horace.
Control Your Pace
I surprise myself in that being the daughter of an equestrian, I hardly know anything about horses. However, in the few riding lessons I’ve had, I can tell you that if you know the art of the reins along with body language, you’re in control of some mighty horsepower!
Self-discipline is the rein that controls the level of your desires.
If you move on from one desire to the next too fast, you’ll end up with confusion and burnout. If you go too slow, you might not get far in your goal.
At some point, successful entrepreneurs hit the sweet spot of balance where they see a steady rise in income for a sustained period of time. However, for many reasons, the scale starts tipping, and soon they’re plunged into the inexhaustible pool of temptations. They want to achieve the next big thing.
If you know that the reason for your desire is happiness, then sometimes you need to stop and enjoy it!
Know When Your Belly’s Full
I find myself baking often. Sometimes, I go on a spree of baking, which is great for everyone, but I forget to sit down at the table, dig my fork into the chocolate brownie, and relish the decadence on my tongue.
If I learn to control my constant desire to do more, I know I will have the time to reap the benefits of what I sow.
After all, my goal is to enjoy.
For most people, satisfaction comes when the stomach is full, but if you can’t help yourself, you’ll overeat.
The Oxford Dictionary defines satisfaction as the fulfillment of one’s wishes, expectations, or needs.
If you’re talking about desire, yes, most people want good food. And everyone needs food to survive.
There’s no doubt that satisfaction is met when your desires are fulfilled. The question is at what point on the threshold of fulfillment is satisfaction met? It is different for each person.
Take the example of climbing a mountain. Let’s measure milestones on a scale of 1 to 5 — where 5 means reaching the summit. Person A decides he wants to climb the mountain for adventure. He measures this as 4 on the scale. He begins his climb and reaches 4. He is satisfied but then wants to go further. As the mountains get more steep, he is unable to climb and returns saddened.
Person B decides he wants the thrill of being in the mountain air and measures his climb to number 3 on the scale. He is able to reach that point and is satisfied.
While Person A and B had different measures of satisfaction, Person A was discontent. The clear reason is he gave into the temptation of the next new thing — the unexplored path, the pull of the mind.
The point of this example is not to show whether you should challenge yourself or not. The point is to show how you can curb your need for the next new thing, in order to feel the present and enjoy it.
“The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less” — Socrates.
Satisfaction is not a headache balm that relieves you for a while. It is a lasting feeling that stays with you through ups and downs provided you fuel it with discipline.
Learn to say no when the mind nags, and you’ll be a master of desire.
When unnecessary wants lose their hold over you, you suddenly find yourself landing into a pool of satisfaction instead of temptation. You don’t need to renounce anything but simply give rest to the insatiable factory of wants. This will lead to a more permanent abode for contentment in your life.
— by Pragya Pradhan
